Apparently sexuality is confusing?

Tell me about it.

Any doubts, fears, secrets, confessions, theories, declarations, questions, discussions, problems, debates, advice or general chat related to sexuality goes here.

Well, I remember when my mum caught me with my ex, and she said not to be a bad influence to my then 16-year-old-and-able-to-think-for-herself sister. She then went on to ask why I hadn't told her sooner...

Did she not realize her reaction? That just baffled me, and it still does, especially since she came back to my room 10 minutes later to say that she was okay with it and she had guessed that I was a lesbian. Argh!

She asked you not to be a bad influence on your sister? By being a lesbian? Whaaaat?

Yeah, so my sister wouldn't "become" a lesbian.

I really don't understand her thinking...

:/ That is weird. And confusing.

Maybe explain to her it doesn't exactly work like that? I dunno. I'm not very good with the whole talking-to-parents-about-gayness thing.

I sort of understand parents having a bit of a shit when they find out. Y'know they were brought up in a less tolerable generation, and being gay immediately relates to discrimination and difficulties in having the babies and marriage and phew. I think even the most supportive parent could have trouble accepting it.

I think its the surprise as well, parents often just don't expect it, even when its blindingly obvious. And that scares them because they think they know their kids, and suddenly theres this whole side of them they didn't know about.

I think that's exactly why she was the last person in my immediate family that I told. Everyone already knew that I had a girlfriend at the time, including my sister, and she wasn't phased by it.

She did grow to understand it, though. She took my ex as a part of my family, and when we broke up, my mum was pretty sad since she thought that my ex was "the one" for me.

Despite that, it was still difficult because my ex's family was homophobic. Her mum tried hard to accept, though I could always tell she was iffy about it. And if her dad had ever found out, that would have been the end of it.

I think its only in like, really extreme cases that parents don't accept it eventually. It just takes some getting used to.

I don't understand the "extreme" cases, though.

I mean, if they're your children and you raised them as best as you could and you say you love them no matter what, then wtf?

And even if parents never say such thing, they're blood family. That's the ONE thing you can't change, and I would only hope that people don't get taken for granted in their familes.

I don't understand it either. I tried and failed.

In the end its just love, and love should be the thing that keeps us together, not tears us apart.

Exactly! I can understand the whole confusion thing, but completely disowning someone? No. Just no.

When I was 13, I realized what I was and I hated it. However, I only hated it because I didn't understand it. One year later, I was proud to be me, and it's been that way ever since.

I think the world needs to learn to understand rather than immediately start judging things. That's a long shot, though.

I agree 200%

This world is still not an easy place to be working this stuff through. I think everyone has some animosity about it, and therefore a reluctance to BE gay and accept themselves and come out.
And thats because of people attitudes to it and thats not right.

It might be a while until it's completely acceptable to be gay. It might be never, even.

But that's why I feel so proud (and envious?) whenever I see a gay couple out in public.
It's one of the most liberating things I've ever seen. I hope one day I can be like them, be a role model for someone else.

I second that motion. ^

I figure, as long as I accept myself...I mean, society is wrong, quite honestly. Who are they to say what's right?

Whatever, I came out JUST last month, and my mum was like "I already knew" and started laughing. She was totally cool with it. I don't know why, but I still can't 'come out' to my bestfriend. I'm so afraid of what she'll think, and I know I shouldn't be. I've came out to basically everbody else...I'll come around eventually.

Anyway, I'm totally comfortable with myself, I'm not confused at all. I remember when I WAS confused though, I was like "why?", but I've really came to terms with it.

I wish it was as easy for everybody as it was with me, serious.

How do you guys feel about the whole 'visibility' thing? Is it important to you to see 'gay representation' on TV and in the movies?

To me, its about relatability. I just identify more with lesbian characters, who I just have more in common with.

Theres also a factor of it being treated like a 'normal' thing. Too often gay storylines are treated as a big deal, it almost feels like a gimmick and is pointed out hugely, and its not exactly encouraging people that its totally okay and normal to be gay. I think we need more things like in todays Doctor Who episode, where in a casual conversation with the Doctor this woman was like 'I'm newly single, not by my own choice. She said she wanted her own space'. It was just no big deal, no one batted an eyelid.

Of course, I would marry Russell T Davies for his big gay inclusion in Torchwood and Doctor Who, but this is coming from the guy who created the original Queer As Folk and who got every character in Torchwood to have a same-sex kiss by the end of the first series, so maybe its not surprising.

Thoughts?

I agree with everything you said, in fact, I couldn't of said it better myself :]